ARTHUR WHERE IS MY IMPREGNATION? Molly Weasleys naked body can turn men to stone AND homosexuality. [65], No one, however, could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves. After the Gryffindor Quidditch team's practice on 24 October, Mrs Norris saw Harry Potter who was covered in soil and dirt. Please, dont do this. He squeezed his eyes shut as cold air came in contact with his semi-erect cock. [56] Umbridge started passing Educational Decrees to suppress and outlaw behaviour of which the Ministry did not approve. Harry, Miles, and Rue haven't been actual siblings since their first year, afterwards they completely separated to their own Houses and worlds: Harry; a Gryffindor, Rue; a Hufflepuff, and Miles: a Ravenclaw. [72] He had a horrible, pouchy[51] and pasty face[14] and bulging, pale eyes,[7] along with sunken, veined cheeks. Editors Note, 6/22/2020: Following are the works of independent creators. [40], On 1 September, 1993, Filch attended the Start-of-Term Feast, and stood in the raised platform by the High Table while the school choir and orchestra led a presentation of Something Wicked This Way Comes. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. Ask Question Asked 4 years ago. [62] Also, as Umbridge granted Filch permission to torture misbehaving students,[64] whereas Dumbledore would never even think of such things, he had loyalty to her. [34] The caretaker took them to Minerva McGonagall's office, where they were joined by Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy who had also been caught out of bed. Spend a few pages writing out your plot. In the evening of 1 May 1998, Argus Filch was patrolling the corridors while Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood went to Ravenclaw Tower. [18], The caretaker had punished them many times during their Hogwarts years, for their trouble-making. However, Dumbledore managed to convince Filch that Harry was not responsible, as he could not have performed such Dark magic, being twelve years old at the time. Chapter Text. Please bear in mind that this list could hardly be comprehensive because there are so many fantastic pairings and stories to choose from, and feel free to share your own favorites in the comments. Now for the really weird erotica, the stories that defy classification. [70] Unbeknownst to Harry, Filch and Pince had indeed shared a romantic relationship starting in 1989, when the two attended the Valentine's Day Ball together. The background story will basically follow the books, and won't bother restating everything that happens. [82], When the Death Eaters marched to Hogwarts Castle with Harry Potter's "dead body", Filch stood by Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, and Horace Slughorn with a gloomy expression on his face. There are so many different potential pairings and/or groupings with which fanfic authors can play around. Harry Potter is a slut. Granted they do come to visit, Harry just visits the most. On luonnollista haluta lis heti kun on saanut ensi maistiaisen - ja min syytn itseni siit, ett annoin sen maistiaisen sinulle"SK s. 203. This story a sweet mix of unrequited love and BDSM. A few feet away, in the bed next to Harry's slept their son, having not even removed his shoes before collapsing into exhaustive, deep sleep. A new educational decree turns Harrys life upside down. [13] He disliked the students and constantly hassled them over the littlest infraction and took delight in the doling out of detention-worthy write-ups. Though not its own fanfic,Potteroticais a podcast worth checking out for any fan of Harry Potter erotica. [14] Ron Weasley also suspected that Filch was always in such a foul mood due to his status as a Squib, and thus resented young wizards and witches as a result. Neatly forged paperwork lands Ed a job teaching summer school remedial chemistry to children who are older than he is. As Dolores Umbridge was a sadist who enjoyed torturing students, Filch could relate to her views on a number of levels. Frustrated, McGonagall sent him to do something constructive and find Peeves, for the Poltergeist would be helpful against the Death Eaters. Harry Potter fan fiction involving time travel and King Arthur. [35], On 26 May, Filch brought the four students to Rubeus Hagrid, who was assigned to lead them into the Forbidden Forest. To annoy Filch, Peeves would trap Mrs Norris in suits of armour,[65] drop chandeliers,[65] play tennis against the Castle walls in the middle of the night,[34] stick wads of gum in keyholes[85] and caused general mayhem, which Filch was later responsible for fixing and cleaning up. After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. There are so many Drapple fics to choose from, but one of the steamiest isForbidden Fruitby Charlotte Blackwood. How have I made myself sad writing a crack fic? This is a story in which Harry has sex with just about everyone. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. The idea of sex has always frightened Neville, but Luna is more than happy to guide the way. [18], When Valentine's Day was around the corner, Madam Pince, who was entrusted by Albus Dumbledore to organise the Valentine's Day Ball, talked to Filch about the arrangements. DO NOT READ IF THE TAGS MAKE YOU SICK NOT A HAPPY STORY FOR HARRY! I'll have you, Peeves, I'll have you, you'll and what is this? Harry has won the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric is dead, and Voldemort is back. He felt perfectly content. InA Perfect Dream World by arobynsung, everyones favorite Quidditch girls Alicia Spinnett, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell get together. He was going to be permitted to bring back the "old punishments" and give students whippings, and she asked the Minister for Magic to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves, the resident Poltergeist. Sometimes a mans love for fruit knows no bounds. [51], At the end of the year, champion Cedric Diggory was murdered, while everyone learned from Harry about Lord Voldemort's return. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter Page to Screen: The Complete Filmmaking Journey, LEGO Harry Potter: Building the Magical World, LEGO Harry Potter: Characters of the Magical World, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story, Fantastic Beasts: Cases from the Wizarding World, Creator: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor, Mrs Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover, "World Exclusive Interview with J K Rowling,", South West News Service interview with JKR, Writing by J. K. Rowling: "The Marauder's Map", Filch's role in the films is much the same as his role in the books, though in the. What the hell? On 7 September, Filch got a tip-off that Harry Potter was sending in a massive order of Dungbombs. Velhomaailmassa on monia erikoisia perinteit, jotkut niist ovat Harrylle iloisia ylltyksi. [9] During the Battle, when the Death Eaters marched towards the Castle with Harry's "dead body", he was clearly solemn as he stood by Horace Slughorn, Pomona Sprout, and Poppy Pomfrey,[82] despite all their differences, as his death meant the victory of the Death Eaters. In 1991, Harry and Ron managed to get on Filch's bad side on their very first day at Hogwarts School, when he and Ronald Weasley got lost and inadvertently tried to enter the out-of-bounds third-floor corridor. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. The process took longer than normal as Filch triple-checked everybody with his Secrecy Sensor. [51] Furthermore, while Snape gave some leniency to students of Slytherin, Filch saw no such mercy with any of the students. [74], I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to inch me closer to the shackles, Mr Filch.Jacob's sibling talking to Filch in his office. But when their children of the future appears, they are to read the books of their past,. Malfoy, however, never showed up and instead tipped Filch that there would be students out of bed in the Trophy Room. At the end of the year, Filch attended the End-of-Term Feast, reunited with his cat. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. [38] His cat was cured via the administration of Professor Sprouts Mandrake Restorative Draught, brewed with Professor Sprout's Mandrakes. Ships included in the order that they're tagged. There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. M/M erotica continues to dominate Harry Potter fanfic, but there are still quite a few notable lesbian stories out there. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. Filch said that this did not make him happy, but the look on his face seemed to say otherwise, but as it was Christmas, Slughorn let Draco stay with no punishment. He left Harry and ran to find Peeves, excited that he might finally be able to pursuade Dumbledore to kick Peeves out of Hogwarts. He was later approached by Jacob's sibling who was concerned about Pince's plan for the Ball and told him Pince loved gorgeous settings such as such as flowers, music and refreshments instead. Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. Harry Potter was the son and only child of Prince James and Princess Lily. The other teachers, who could have removed the swamp in an instant, preferred instead to watch Umbridge struggle. Albus always wanted Teddy, but never thought he would be able to have him. [2] However, Filch did always plead to Dumbledore to permit him to use corporeal punishments on the students, a request that was never granted, which became a primary reason why Filch preferred Umbridge as head of the school. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. Additional tags/pairings will be added as and when. There's something thrilling about being the famous Harry Potter's teacher and Lockhart takes advantage of the chance to get so close to him. [18], In December, Filch attended the Christmas feast, in which he departed with his usual brown coat and wore a very old and rather mouldy-looking tailcoat. Filch usually wandered around the school corridors with his cat Mrs Norris, trying to catch students breaking the school rules and complaining about Peeves the Poltergeist. Out of the Fire and into the Cupboard by HalfASlug. Harry Potter once speculated that there was "something going on" romantically between Filch and Irma Pince, the equally ancient and irascible Hogwarts librarian. Harry is in his 2nd year when he gets another detention from Lockhart. [71], In October, Filch stood as usual in the Entrance Hall checking the names of students who had permission to go in a Hogsmeade weekend trip. [A non-magical AU. When Filch's cat, Mrs Norris, was petrified, Dumbledore seemed to care about Filch and his cat. Fred and George test out a new line of products, and things get sexy. Nobody would have thought of throwing Fanged Frisbees down the corridors if I could've strung you up by the ankles in my office, would they? tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. Argus Filch was a rheumatic man[62] with hunched-shoulders[9] and a hunchback. On the night stand, beside a plate that was empty but for a few crumbs, lay his wand and glasses. Filch even threatened Harry after finding him standing by the petrified Mrs Norris, Dumbledore had to calm him down. [54] He was also probably the one to affix the notices with the Decree on the noticeboards of the Common Rooms. This isn't going to be everybody's cup of tea. [39] He learned that the one who petrified Mrs Norris was the memory of Tom Riddle, the one who controlled Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk. No matter what your interests, if youre a Harry Potter fan (and who isnt? [20], During this school year, Jacob's sibling tried to invite him to Hagrid's birthday party, which was pretty successful and he attended the party, although Professor McGonagall considered it a miracle if he agreed to celebrate anything whatsoever. [24], During this school year, he also caught Jacob's sibling with Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington in the Potions Classroom. During this time, he became more vicious than ever, and wrote students up for things like "breathing loudly" and "looking happy". An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. What follows is a selection of some of the more interesting male/female erotic fics. Sometime in 1989 or 1990, Fred and George let off a Dungbomb and were caught by Filch, who took them to his office and threatened them with his usual unpleasant punishments he always had in mind. Filch confiscated a shrunken head from Vincent Crabbe. [81] The caretaker stayed in the Castle during the battle,[82] although it is unknown how, as a Squib, he participated in the battle; perhaps he stayed to tend to the fighters' injuries or to aid the Hogwarts forces with his extensive knowledge of the Castle layout and secret passages. Despite their truthful claims that they were lost, Filch did not believe them and threatened to lock them in the dungeons. [62], Due to Harry's dislike of Filch, Harry twice jinxed him with Langlock in his sixth year, humiliating Filch much to the amusement of everyone who witnessed it.[71]. Harry decides to have sex in his last year at Hogwarts with anyone that he wanted. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). Though clearly thinking that Professor McGonagall had gone insane, Filch complied. We Go Way Back: 25 of the Best Historical Fiction Books of the Past 10 Years, The Bestselling Books of the Week, According to All the Lists, New Releases Tuesday: The Best Books Out This Week, 11 of the Best Shnen Manga to Read in 2023. [41], On 31 October, Filch stood by the Entrance Hall checking the names of those going to the first Hogsmeade trip of the term. Despite the fact that Filch never directly participated in the, Interestingly, Filch's love of medieval punishments would finally be achieved when the actor who played him in the films, David Bradley, would go on to play Lord Walder Frey in the famous. The detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a different way, and is spent with less than school appropriate actions. I had no idea Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood were such a popular pairing until I started doing research for this article, at which point I uncovered a whole slew of Percy/Oliver erotica. Charlus was a fearless leader of the United Kingdom, and an unforgiving and ruthless person all around. [71], On 19 December, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger argued and speculated whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. Harry really did love him to allow him such an honor. As much as I prefer my canon couples, non-canon erotica is where the Harry Potter fandom really starts having fun. There are quite a few episodes already, so if you want to get your Harry Potter erotica fix while on the go, this podcast is your answer! [26], Later in the school year, Filch was speaking to Snape and Madam Pince in the Potions Classroom when he was introduced to Brazilian exchange student Alanza Alves by Jacob's sibling. [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. [9] Filch never ceased his futile efforts to get Peeves expelled from the castle, and Peeves never stopped taunting Filch. What a stupid question. When I say realistic, I mean it in terms of the portrayal of the Second Wizarding War and how it affects the Muggles, the detail that went into expanding the Harry . [78] By 1 September 1997, Severus Snape was made Headmaster of Hogwarts while his fellow Death Eaters, Alecto Carrow and Amycus Carrow became the Muggle Studies and Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers respectively, as well as Deputy Heads.[79]. Harry wanted him to do stuff for money, so Gilderoy naturally did as he was told. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). [8], Near the start of the 19891990 school year, Jacob's sibling approached Filch in his office, where they asked him if he had seen their brother Jacob who had been spotted on school grounds. 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