Dr. Tom O'Bryan's Video Series on Reversing Auto-immune, Dr. Zach Bush's Video on Healing your Gut. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. My wife and I have been together for thirty years, and weve been married twenty-five years. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. I wasnt aware of oxytocin. Just today my wife was having a strong reaction about [something], and because I know Mars/Venus I wont say much (laughs). 2023 Getty Images. Yours works fine. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. Im still amazed at the relevance thatMen Are from Marsstill has, 25 years after it was published! Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that allow him to model how husbands should respond when their wives seem petulant and unreasonable. She engages her husband as a helper and a hearer and promises her gratitude for his work when she is done. PR.com: What are your thoughts on traditional couples counseling, considering that it doesnt seem to touch on their being a physiological reason why men have certain behavioral tendencies, and women have other behavioral tendencies? In this in-depth interview, best-selling relationships author John Gray, PhD discusses how modern life is wreaking havoc on our delicate hormonal balance, and how differentiating male and female hormones are largely responsible for feminine and masculine behavioral patterns that we observe in our partners, much to our frustration and misinterpretation. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. Required fields are marked *. Suddenly those feelings come back. [1] I MUCH prefer the earlier title of this book: What Your Mother Couldnt Tell You and Your Father Didnt Know. Oh, please! There are some therapists who dont have this insight, and they tend to just referee while having everyone talk. How do you know? My answer in those years was, Ive got a counseling practice, and Im married myself, and women almost all say the same things (laughs) about their husbands, and about themselves. There were themes that are very universal in almost every household. Check out Dr. Joels interview on how to prevent heart disease. Millions of high-quality images, video, and music options are waiting for you. The big surge of estrogen a woman will feel when she does something for her partner; no matter if it was something big or small. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). Then speed that up with computers, Internet and cell phones; our lifestyle is so much faster and busier than before. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. That was most of their day, and that is what brought them their fulfillment and then the guy was whip cream. Not someone who is going to take me from zero to one hundred. wussy. something shes enjoys loves and feels safe. 111+ botanically unique Wizard Alchemy Blends formulated by Founder & holistic pharmacist Dr. Nick Berry, PharmD. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. As I grew older, I had a wonderful relationship with my parents and in the early 1980s, I married my wife, Bonnie, and we went on our honeymoon. Fill out the quick form below to get started. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over?, I ask, Is this really the best she can do?, I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. Reassurance is a key factor to keep that estrogen up. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. When you look historically at what the feminist movement really was, its like a massive cultural shift that has never occurred in a big civilization before. We help humans discover physical & emotional intelligence to live life well, We help humans discover physical& emotional intelligence to live life well, Copyright 2022 Wellness Force Media All Rights Reserved. My daughter Lauren and I are deeply committed to helping you attract, create, and nurture the love that is your birthright. I had achieved success in my life, but without sharing it with my family, it wasnt as fulfilling. Two. He said, Darn you, John Gray. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. And estrogen doesnt cause the sexual response. Thats a reality that has happened to all of us. We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. If John does what he is supposed to do, nearly anything Bonnie does will work out. Its the hormone that lowers stress for women. For more on #BookOfJohnGray, visit http://bit.ly/23tPWQBFind OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN#OWNTV #BookOfJohnGray #JohnGraySUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PNDownload the Watch OWN App: http://bit.ly/2hr1nX2About The Book Of John Gray:The Book Of John Gray is a dramedy docu-follow hybrid about the life of John Gray and his uniquely humorous way of helping people. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. Estrogen suppresses testosterone. John Gray: Yes and no. It just feels like you dont care about me. Then we have a gift to encourage you! If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Why it's so important for women to give men space so that they can build their testosterone levels back up. Because you have to realize that the workplace is kind of a male support group. I disagree with nearly everything in them, with one exception. Unfortunately, the way Gray says things is only going to work for about 10% of the male population, and only because most of them are gay. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. The power of listening and telling your partner, Help me understand that better, when they're emotional and, Why the only way to grow is to get out of your, Why a man's testosterone will actually go up when he listens to and helps his partner release and, The four emotions that will both release negativity very quickly and raise. Yes, we clearly got a couple of good ones, and I know you were being self-congratulatory in a jokey way, but we are with Kathie and Bette out of choice, not providence. Im afraid I will not get what I want. Webdr john gray wife, bonnie. How Dr. John would comfort his wife when she would have, What creates passion in a relationship: our differences and being. His wife said that he had been feeling a little different over the past couple weeks before he went to the ER on Thursday, July 7, 2022 - where he was quickly admitted to the critical care unit. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. Get personalized pricing by telling us when, (LogOut/ John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. For men, anytime they do something difficult. Everybody thought it sounded too much like astrology, and nobody would publish it. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE Get personalized pricing by telling us when, where, and how you want to use this asset. That is all a good thing in terms of equal opportunity. John Gray: Right, and on the surface that would sound very thin to some people, unless you measure and see that during a massage her oxytocin levels rebuild, and then she is able to cope with stress. PR.com: Like you say in the book, when a woman goes off to get a massage, for example, it is to escape all of her responsibilities. This information is eye-opening and answers many of the questions married couples have been asking for years. I dont mean to upset you. John Gray: No. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Its what Google thinks, in any case. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. If you dont say, This is important for my health, then you kind of go, Ill just have sex when I feel like it, as opposed to creating a schedule where it would happen. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. PR.com: I particularly love the two page cartoon in the center of this book. That means women need to talk 10 times more than men to share their emotions! Im adding his comments here, although they tend to excuse his choices, because he is trying to illustrate what doing it right looks like and he is being the example for us all. Our couch needs to be recovered. Thats what a man can do, but a woman needs to have some nurturing support which allows her brain to relax. You want an attitude of sharing and letting go, instead of festering. As oxytocin levels have dropped we have a massive drop in fertility in women. John: You seem upset. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. We just hang out and we update each other on our lives. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. Three. About OWN:Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. A main effect is that they often divorce you. Scroll back to top . Women need to share their frustrations or disappointments to increase their estrogen. Soul mate relationships are where both partners understand and respect their differences so they can expand empathy and deeply support each other throughout life. When they do something they are good at their hormones go up, which is great! I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over? I ask, Is this really the best she can do? I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. John Gray: Yes, he did (laughs). Your email address will not be published. Part of what this knowledge does is it creates room for me to be a guy and for her to be a woman. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. Johns discussion of his two-year grieving process over the passing of his longtime partner Bonnie gives us some important perspective and inspiration. They would call me up and say, What does this mean? because I was a well known expert on gender. Limitation is all of our negative beliefs, emotions, our greed, our selfishness, and all of our violence whether we hide it or not it's all in there. He would protect them and he would help fix things when they break, and he was kind of the emergency man (a term Gray refers to in his book). Very little more was expected of him. But Id be willing to bet that a VAST majority of these books are purchased by women, thinking that theyre bridging a gender gap. Sometimes, people dont even know what their needs are. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. You must seek advice from a licensed physician before acting on any information provided on this website. John Gray Speech. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each other. Brain scans were developed and every department had brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations. Dr. John Gray and The Mars and Venus Wellness Solution. (LogOut/ In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is, people have equated equality with sameness. CLICK HERE FOR DISCOUNT PURCHASE, When you get angry, what is happening hormonally in your body? I have a recent example of that one. If a guy feels guilty for taking time away, or if he just doesnt take time away, then gradually his testosterone levels get lower and lower and his interest in the relationship becomes less and less. When we are under stress is when these differences show up the most. 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